The Gift of Ben

For me, I’ve broken so many times in so many different ways, that I oftentimes find myself telling Kyle (or a friend, counselor, psychiatrist), “I just need to put myself back together.” By that sentence, I think I’m trying to say that I just need a moment to work it out on the inside, set […]

Excerpt, The Gift of Ben, Chapter 41 I had come to Colorado to find my way back to Ben, and it was there, scanning the vista before me, that I first felt him, or God, or both as one. In a gentle release of tension into the transcendent evening air, we stood on the rocks […]

I wish I had words, something profound. However, there can be power in silence. A quiet acknowledgment of something more meaningful than words can express. Ben, I’m finally allowing myself to just be “me.” As I wrote in my memoir, to be “Real.” Thank you baby boy, I love you. ************* Excerpts from The Gift […]

March 28th will be Ben’s 10th birthday. To be honest, I was never able to put the headstone on his grave. I have never been able to buy flowers for his grave. My parents do all of that for me. I have not been to visit him in eight years. I am trying to process […]

“I talk so quickly, yet there is nothing to say. Just the pain, ‘the pain,’ I tell her. Of me and who I am not, or who I am but not willing to accept. She hands me a prescription as I relent. I will try one last time.” (Excerpt, Chapter 1, The Gift of Ben) This […]